PL Matchweek 2: Elanga Could Be As Good As Shearer…

I missed Matchweek 1, sue me.

PL Matchweek 2 Review, let's get stuck in.

Elanga is (technically) as good as Shearer

Newcastle beat Tottenham 2-0 away on Saturday (29th), Anthony Elanga opening the scoring in the 62nd minute after some good approach play from debutant Nico Gonzalez, before Yoane Wissa doubled the lead in the 72nd with an improvised finish. Tidy result on its own terms. What makes it worth flagging is that Elanga had also scored on the opening day, in a 2-2 draw with Liverpool, meaning this was goal number two in as many league games.

Newcastle fans will know exactly why that matters: the last player to manage it was a striker who needs no introduction on Tyneside. Alan Shearer, back in 2003-04. It's been 23 years. £55 million is a lot to spend on a wide forward from Nottingham Forest, but three weeks into the season it's starting to look like money well spent, because yes, technically, right now, he is as good as Shearer.

Don't shoot the messenger.

Two Games, Not One Shot on Target

Aston Villa lost 1-0 at home to Arsenal on Bank Holiday Monday, Bukayo Saka scoring the only goal in the 59th minute. On its own that's a fairly standard result for a side missing key faces from last season and playing against the champions.

What makes it notable is the number sitting next to Villa's name in the shots column: zero.

Not zero goals, zero shots on target, across two full Premier League matches, following a 4-0 opening-day defeat at Brighton. Since Opta started tracking shot data in 2003-04, only one other side has gone two games without troubling the keeper: Swansea City in 2017-18, who were relegated that season. Villa are also the first side to follow up a top-four finish (they were 4th last season) with two scoreless opening games since QPR pulled off the same trick in 1976-77.

Have them stats, eh.

Underside of the Bar

Manchester United's 5-2 win over Ipswich at Old Trafford had enough incident for three matches, never mind one, and it started with a miss rather than a goal. Leif Davis put Ipswich ahead in the 29th minute, before Bruno Fernandes levelled in the 40th. Then, in the 52nd, Bryan Mbeumo should have put United in front, honestly harder to miss: Kjell Scherpen could only get a hand to Marcus Rashford's cross, the ball dropped to Mbeumo from point-blank range, and he somehow turned it onto the underside of the bar rather than in.

Impressive stuff.

Maguire Handball, Goal Still Stands

This is a tough one.

Four minutes after Mbeumo's let-off, Harry Maguire did what he couldn't. Bringing the ball down under pressure from Chuba Akpom, Maguire did what could be described as his best basketball player impression, before shooting low and wide. Jacob Greaves got the final touch, turning Maguire's effort into his own net. VAR reviewed the handball and ruled it accidental, and the law that saved United is a strange one: an accidental handball only wipes out a goal if the player who committed it is the one who scores. Because Greaves supplied the final touch, not Maguire, the goal stood.

Better than getting mauled by the tigers, nonetheless.

Any Chance Fourth?

Liverpool drew 2-2 with Nottingham Forest at Anfield, a result that suits neither side on paper, but the story of the afternoon had nothing to do with the football itself. Dan Ndoye put Forest ahead in the 24th minute, Alexander Isak levelled for Liverpool in the 60th, and then, with Andoni Iraola trying to make a triple substitution, the game turned comical.

For over two minutes, the ball went out of play on three separate occasions while fourth official Tim Robinson struggled to get the electronic substitution boards working. Before Liverpool could make the change, Alisson fouled Neco Williams in the box, and Morgan Gibbs-White scored the resulting penalty in the 70th minute to put Forest back ahead. Iraola was livid afterwards, insisting the penalty simply wouldn't have happened had his substitutions gone through when he first asked for them.

Victor Munoz, on his home debut, salvaged a point with an 82nd-minute equaliser, but the story that outlived the final whistle wasn't the football at all: reports had Alisson kicking a hole in the substitution board out of sheer frustration once the game ended. A reminder, if nothing else, that VAR isn't the only piece of match-day kit capable of ruining someone's afternoon.

If we missed something better, let us know.